Saturday, January 26, 2019


I'm spending the morning looking a ton of different locations to resettle and open my eventual shop.
We're pretty certain it's going to be in the SW Virginia area as it seems to be most suitable for what we are looking for.

What ARE we looking for?

Well, the biggest thing is community.

See, I'm not profit-driven.

I know. That sounds crazy. Who ever says they want to open a business and not worry about profit?


I find that I shy away from popular places. I want to live and work in a place where it's quiet and friendly and people know you. I want to be off the beaten path. I want to be somewhere that feels like I belong there.

I used to not be that way. Hard to believe but I used to hang out in New York City on a very regular basis, mostly Greenwich Village.

Haven't been there in years and not really all that interested in it anymore.

I don't care for trendy and I really don't care for overspending on stuff.

The best cup of coffee I've ever had did not cost $8.

I want people to come to my shop not just to shop.

My shop will have comfortable places where you can just sit and visit or read or whatever.
Except for computers and cell phones. I'd like it if you could leave those things at home.

My shop will probably not have free wi-fi. haha

Thursday, January 17, 2019

January, So Far

January is not a good month for me.
No, it isn't because it's the middle of winter; I actually like that part. Winter is cozy and cloudy and you can breathe when you go outside and you can go places and they're not crowded - what's not to like about those things?

The reason I don't like January is because it was in this month ten years ago that I became very, very sick and fought for my life for 10 days in CICU.  Pneumonia, lungs collapsed (pneumothorax). I still can't write all the details because...well...


At the point that this went down, I was already someone with a good deal of trauma in my life which had manifested in PTSD that was, for the most part, manageable. Then this thing happened and while I was ecstatic and grateful to the millionth power that I'd come through it, the episode and all it entailed (no details but you can imagine) manifested in - you guessed it - a more defined and cemented PTSD. Yay.

Long story short, January itself is a trigger. Double yay.

I have to keep really, really busy during this month and avoid being idle at all costs.
Idle = overthinking and overthinking =

Also, humor. I couldn't survive any of all this without it.

There are good things that come from bad things sometimes, though, and one of the good things that came from this event ten years ago is that I quit smoking.  Although my illness back then was not caused by smoking, I still would have had to have been a complete moron to keep smoking after a double lung collapse that almost killed me.

So hooray! I have officially reached my 10 year anniversary of not smoking 😄

Thank you, lungs. I'm so sorry I ever abused you.

I've been keeping very busy with all the new creating I've gone back to doing.
I'm making clothes again...and greeting cards...painting...and still doing the photo art.
This has been loooong overdue. 
I can't do just one thing. I've never been able to.  Even when I was an editor I had to be juggling five other things in addition to editing reference books.  I'm happy and excited.

I had a meeting with a new doctor today.  Yes, a meeting. Like a meet and greet.  Can you imagine?  We sat and talked, no examination. She didn't even sit behind her desk but instead sat in one of the comfortably upholstered chairs alongside me in front of her desk. I guess that was so it didn't feel doctor/patient-ish.  Our knees were almost touching. She wore regular clothes, nothing doctor-like about her.  She asked if I wanted a cup of coffee from their coffee bar, where there were real mugs, not disposable. I told her about my doctor anxiety and she completely understood which was shocking because I'm used to being dismissed. She does everything differently than the way 99.9% of other doctors do things. She told me how she wants to do things the way it used to be done and I said I remembered well how that was...when doctors answered their own phones and made house calls (she makes house calls!), etc.
She asked - wait for it - if "I was even old enough to remember  all of that".
That sealed the deal. She is now my new doctor! 👍

I read about the latest brouhaha that's got everyone all worked up - this time caused by Gillette and their new commercial. I spent some time reading the comments and watching people lose their minds over this. 
All I have to say is that if you're getting your life advice from a corporation, you might want to rethink that.

While I was waiting to meet the doctor today, I was scrolling puppies on my phone.
I'm allergic to dogs but do okay with the breeds that are so-called hypoallergenic.  That's what my Luna is - a hypoallergenic yorkie/poodle mix.
My brain tells me I don't need another dog but my heart tells me otherwise.
I wonder which one will win?

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Doomsday Of The Oral Variety

So my mom thinks I should have a bunch of my teeth pulled.

That's her solution to the mouth pain I experienced over the past weekend.

Her reasoning is that I keep having problems with my teeth and teeth problems are hereditary¹ - I seriously can't think of one person in all of my relations who have good teeth - so just cut to the chase and get rid of them.

Out with the old, in with the fake.  No more mouth pain, problem solved. Why fight the inevitable?

Because no one I am related to has good teeth or even has teeth as most are denture wearers, I have been diligent my whole life about my teeth but despite that, genetics is winning the war. I brush a lot, I floss...but still crazy problems arise. Combine genetics² with autoimmune stuff³ and I pretty much have a bunch of ticking white time bombs in my mouth.  Doomsday of the oral variety.

Dentists sometimes disagree.  Their thought is that if you just come to their office once or twice a week for the rest of your life and have ridiculously expensive procedures on a regular basis, you'll be just fine and you will see that genetics or diseases or medications have nothing to do with it, they say.

Maybe just don't pay you rent or mortgage and y'all can have great teeth.
And do your kids really need new clothes or all of that food?  Perhaps a second job to pay for that implant? We have financing!

I went to a terrible dentist¹¹ for awhile last year.  I have severe medical phobia²² (real deal, not just the 'i don't like doctors' kind) so I didn't notice she was as bad as she was despite the eye rolls of her staff every time she left the room. With medical phobia all you can do is concentrate with all you've got on not having a massive panic attack and running out the door so you miss a lot. During one visit, I was in the chair and she was working away on something in my mouth. The dental assistant asked me a question and I answered it and the bad dentist lady freaked out and yelled at both of us.  Apparently I wasn't supposed to talk while she was working except she never actually told me or the assistant that even after the assistant asked me the question.
Have you ever had a dentist yell at you?
Have you ever had a dentist yell at you as someone with severe medical phobia (that she knew about)?
She also told me in front of other patients to not wait too long to schedule an appointment for another problem tooth "because it's your M.O. to wait too long".   She really said M.O.
In front of other people.
Then there was the time she was working in my mouth and asked me if I took aspirin.
I answered that I sometimes take Tylenol. She said "Tylenol is not aspirin. I said aspirin."
Then she told me the reason she asked is because she "can't stop the bleeding"...which is a terrific thing to say to someone who has medical phobia.  It took the better part of six hours to come down from the adrenaline spike that anxiety attack caused.
After the 'cant stop the bleeding' incident, I stopped going to her.  Not long after that I heard she no longer worked there and had moved to Florida.  I only hope she is selling homemade puka shell necklaces on the beach there instead of being a dentist because that would be more suitable to her qualifications, in my opinion.

Moral of this story:  don't put up with bad care ever + don't pull out your teeth if you can help/afford it.  But if you can't help/afford it, that's okay too.
Don't let anyone make you feel bad about you...including you.

Further Reading:
¹ Genes May Be Linked To Oral Health Problems
² How Your Genetics Are Affecting Your Teeth
³ Autoimmune Diseases Effects On Oral Health
¹¹How To Deal With An Arrogant Doctor
²²How To Overcome Extreme Fear Of Doctors
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